Will, the very inquisitive almost four-year old, has lots of questions about my pregnancy. He comprehends that I have a “baby growing in my tummy.” He also comprehends that “God gets to decide if I get a boy baby or another girl baby.”
What is not so easy to comprehend it that even when Will is a grown up, he will never have a baby growing in his tummy. He gets to be a daddy, not a mommy. Sometimes this answer is acceptable and sometimes he decides to protest. You just can’t win that fight.
This leads to my point of teaching children about gender. Sure, kids recognize the differences about little girls and little boys. For example, when Abby was a tiny baby, I was changing her diaper on the floor. Will was helping me. Suddenly, he let out a big gasp. “Mommy, where is Abby’s pee-pee?”
I saw this as a teachable moment. “Will, Abby doesn’t have a pee-pee, she is a girl. Only boys have pee-pees.”
Will thought for a moment and then responded, “That’s okay Mommy, we can buy her one at Target.”
Well, at least he understood the difference.
From this relatively simple explanation, we move to a much bigger discussion of social gender differences. The topics of hair, clothes, shaving and nail polish are a slippery slope with almost no easy answers.
I was painting my nails recently and William wanted his toenails painted too. What is the harm? Will got his toenails painted in a beautiful pink color, just like his Mommy’s. Will proudly showed off his toes to his dad. Dad just met my eyes with a dumbfounded look. How could I do that to his boy! (Matt is not going to be happy that I told anyone that I painted Will’s toenails pink.)
My second situation was my recent haircut. I got my long hair cut into more of a chin length bob. So that Will would not be surprised when I got home from the salon, I let him know ahead of time that I was going to go get a fun hair cut.
“Mommy, will your hair be short?”
“Yes Will, it will be shorter than it is now.”
“Mommy, will it be short like a boy’s? Boys have short hair. Mommy’s have long hair.”
“Will, Mommy will still look like a mommy. I am just going to have different hair.” (Whew, barely got out of that one. I needed something shiny to distract him.)
There is no doubt in my mind that my child is normal with his questions and his ideas. I just hope that I am going to get the answers right.
What is not so easy to comprehend it that even when Will is a grown up, he will never have a baby growing in his tummy. He gets to be a daddy, not a mommy. Sometimes this answer is acceptable and sometimes he decides to protest. You just can’t win that fight.
This leads to my point of teaching children about gender. Sure, kids recognize the differences about little girls and little boys. For example, when Abby was a tiny baby, I was changing her diaper on the floor. Will was helping me. Suddenly, he let out a big gasp. “Mommy, where is Abby’s pee-pee?”
I saw this as a teachable moment. “Will, Abby doesn’t have a pee-pee, she is a girl. Only boys have pee-pees.”
Will thought for a moment and then responded, “That’s okay Mommy, we can buy her one at Target.”
Well, at least he understood the difference.
From this relatively simple explanation, we move to a much bigger discussion of social gender differences. The topics of hair, clothes, shaving and nail polish are a slippery slope with almost no easy answers.
I was painting my nails recently and William wanted his toenails painted too. What is the harm? Will got his toenails painted in a beautiful pink color, just like his Mommy’s. Will proudly showed off his toes to his dad. Dad just met my eyes with a dumbfounded look. How could I do that to his boy! (Matt is not going to be happy that I told anyone that I painted Will’s toenails pink.)
My second situation was my recent haircut. I got my long hair cut into more of a chin length bob. So that Will would not be surprised when I got home from the salon, I let him know ahead of time that I was going to go get a fun hair cut.
“Mommy, will your hair be short?”
“Yes Will, it will be shorter than it is now.”
“Mommy, will it be short like a boy’s? Boys have short hair. Mommy’s have long hair.”
“Will, Mommy will still look like a mommy. I am just going to have different hair.” (Whew, barely got out of that one. I needed something shiny to distract him.)
There is no doubt in my mind that my child is normal with his questions and his ideas. I just hope that I am going to get the answers right.
3 comments:
Ahh ha ha ha! Tiffany said Caroline asked her the other day if a cashier was a boy or girl because she had a very short spiky haircut and earrings. Very confusing for a 3 year old. Tiffany whispered to her that the cashier was a girl, but apparently Caroline didn't believe her and yelled to the cashier, "Excuse me! Are you a boy or girl!?" Maybe I'm not in a rush for O to start talking!
Haaaaaaaaaa ha ha! That is good stuff.
omg, I love it that Will thinks Target stocks penises. Can you imagine if they did? In sizes? Matt would have no trouble making his sales numbers then!
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